


Press Y to Eject an Impostor

by firelord65



Category: Among Us (Video Game), Untitled Goose Game (Video Game)
Genre: Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Embedded Images, Gen, Implied/Referenced Violence, Minor Character Death, Quote: Honk (Untitled Goose Game), Task Lists (Untitled Goose Game), The Skeld (Among Us), White acting kinda Sus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:27:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27811495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firelord65/pseuds/firelord65
Summary: Space is a dangerous, chaotic place. It gets a little more chaotic when there's a goose there, too.
Comments: 46
Kudos: 50
Collections: Heart Attack Exchange 2020





	1. PROLOGUE

**Author's Note:**

  * For [draconicsockpuppet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/draconicsockpuppet/gifts).



> This is by far the most ambitious crossover/fusion that I have ever attempted. I really hope that you like it, Draconicsockpuppet! 
> 
> If you aren't familiar with Among Us, I wanted to link a [picture of the map for the setting](https://prod.cdn.earlygame.com/uploads/images/_imageBlock/SKELD_MAP-1.jpg?mtime=20201022122655&focal=none&tmtime=20201022132145) to help visualize it all.
> 
> Edit: I also made a header entirely for my own amusement and to create a cast photo of sorts!  
> 

"Hurry up, would you?" Pink snapped. He stood in the doorway to the airlock with two crates in his arms as Cyan struggled further among the stacks. There wasn't a lot of space in Storage this week. Maneuvering around was tricky. The last pickup had been larger than they'd expected.

Cyan bit his tongue and dragged the last crate onto his pile. "I'll be there in a minute," he shouted back. Pulling his tablet out from his suit pocket, Cyan struggled to keep the pile balanced on his propped knee. He flipped through the inventory logs, trying to track down the listing for this delivery. No one had bothered to clear out the old inventory yet and since the crates had all been in different parts of the stacks, he had to cross-check multiple lines.

"Cyan!" Pink bellowed. "Lets _go!_ "

Running his eyes over the last few lines, Cyan considered his efforts good enough when he didn't spot any other crate IDs matching the delivery. This wasn't even _his_ task. Pink should have been doing this instead of barking orders as he carried two skinny crates at a time. The tablet went back into Cyan's pocket and he hefted the remaining portion of the delivery. He winced as he felt the objects inside shift and wobble.

"Don't rush me. Geeze."

The last thing that Cyan wanted was for them to deliver forty cases of damaged merchandise. If it was just poly sacs or more tchotchkes from Illum Prime, fine. But these were filled with precious cargo. It wasn't often that MIRA shipped produce or livestock. Cyan was determined to make sure they didn't log any complaints for this one. Broken snow globes could be repaired or replaced. Cracked eggs destined for new colony farms? Not so much.

Cyan couldn't see Pink's expression through his helmet, so he would have to make do imagining the man's glower. "We're already late as it is," Pink said.

The urge to cause bodily harm wasn't one that Cyan often felt. Except when dealing with Pink, that is. He forced himself to take a deep breath and let it out before responding. His arms were already aching from the previous trips back and forth to the airlock where they were docked with the colony's transport shuttle. "Then let's not waste any more of their time. Or ours," Cyan huffed. Why Pink hadn't finished bringing his own - again, tiny - portion of the delivery onto the shuttle and then come back to help he would never understand.

Cyan shoved past him, allowing himself a little chuckle as Pink knocked against the wall with a grunt. Pink followed behind and launched into a tirade about maintaining a better attitude when performing _official ship functions_.

Neither crewman noticed the bundle of white feathers skirt between their legs and into Storage.


	2. CHAPTER 1

With only a crew of eight - two short of the full complement typically expected for a ship of this class - it was well over a week before they realized there was a stowaway. This suited the goose just fine. She meandered through the metallic halls while the crew was asleep and poked her beak into each of the stations whenever someone left to move on to another.

The people in this ship were unusual, that was unquestionable. The most telling part was the fact that it took them an _entire week_ to realize that a goose was living among them. The next bit of oddness was the strange outfits they wore.

Now, the goose had escaped from an agricultural colony and had seen plenty of bulky, uncomfortable space suits in her time. The planet's surface while habitable had temperamental seasons. The small dome where the goose had lived among the other livestock had been shielded, but the colonists travelling to and from the residential domes would often suit up for the trip.

The outfits here on the Skeld were… unusual. There was some attempt at normalcy what with there being jumpsuits, uniforms, and the like. However there was a definite line crossed when it came to the headwear. The goose recognized hats like the narrow brimmed cap with golden wings that Red wore or the sports cap that Green occasionally donned after their shift. What was definitely strange was when the goose had to scurry out from the pink inflatable flamingo she had settled down in for the evening only for Black to pick it up and _place it on their head?_ The goose very nearly had popped out of her hiding spot then and there when it happened.

Black had meandered away and the goose spent the next few minutes trailing them through the ship to confirm - yep. They really had intended to do that. It wasn't a mix-up. The plastic bird sat jauntily on the crewmate's head from the moment they got up to just before they retired to their bunk.

For now.

Black spent most of their time working in the front nose of the ship. Three main rooms split off from the corridor, all of which had fantastic places where sly waterfowl could slip underneath or behind to avoid being spotted. The goose was rather partial to the two rooms with long, red railings separating the walkways from the recessed deck plating and conduits underneath. Whenever someone traipsed through from the back end of the ship, the goose could always hop off of the walkway and elude whichever crewmate it was by slinking among the yellow, twisting tubes.

The goose could be patient. It was a struggle sometimes to hop back up to the main halls, yes, but she had her eye on the prize. The pink flamingo had been comfortable to sit in after all. What purpose did it serve Black to sit on their head all day? Absolutely none. It would be much more appreciated on the goose's soon-to-grow stockpile of lifted paraphernalia.

She cast a careful glance at the slats that led to her nest. It had been a fortunate discovery when she had nudged at the metal cover and found it moved readily. When the breeze blew through the narrow tunnels, it kept her nest as comfortable as on a fine spring day. And none of the crewmates had business going in there that she had seen.

Sometimes the goose would slip through the narrow shafts to maneuver through the ship. The soft slaps of her feet on the deck plating made less noise though, so she still preferred to remain in the open halls when she could. That was how she kept an eye on Black for the past hour. She waddled in their shadow as they puttered through their workday. Most of their time was spent in the cockpit in one of the plush chairs there.

It was there that the goose formed her plan of attack. Step one, distract. Step two, extract. Step three, escape.

Now was the best time to act, she reasoned, when Black made their way back into the room. She had remained in the darkest corner of the console rather than follow them on their loop through the top and bottom rooms. Like clockwork the crewmate dropped into the pilot seat. Only a heavy sigh betrayed this motion as being any different from the half-dozen other trips they had made back and forth. It was getting late in the day. Soon all of the crewmates would gather for their meal - and subsequently the goose would feast on their leftover scraps - so this was probably one of Black's last rounds.

The goose rustled her wings as Black crossed their ankles. After another minute they kicked their feet up, the motion accompanied by a comfortable stretch of their arms. The goose waddled forward then. She slipped under the pilot's seat easily. Her tailfeathers didn't even stick out. Her next jaunt required no hurry at all. From this perspective, Black's own helmet blocked their vision to the back of the cockpit.

She had to use some caution when standing atop the metal grate in the corner of the room. Here was one of the openings that she could sneak into. In fact, this would be her emergency exit should Black catch sight of her too soon. The metal rocked under the goose's webbed feet but it didn't rattle. With a graceful stretch of her neck the goose nipped her beak at the panel now above her.

Regardless of where she was on the ship, the goose saw crewmates working on panels exactly like this one. For all of the shiny surfaces and blinking lights that dotted the ship, the crew was most dependent on the thin wires that were tucked behind these panels. The goose had used this strategy several times before. It seemed no matter how many times the wires were broken the crew never quite realized the sabotage for what it was.

The goose nipped at the last loose wire to separate it from its pair. There were more inside, yes, but she only needed Black to be distracted for a short while. Plus the goose didn't want anything _serious_ to break. She was a passenger on the ship, too. It still needed to be able to land at the end of the day.

She pattered back and forth on her feet, her attention on Black's chair. The crewmate hadn't budged. Their focus was only on the wide windows in front of them apparently. This wouldn't do.

The goose honked. Black jerked in their seat and stumbled over their own feet. Letting out a second triumphant honk, the goose scuttled away from the disturbed panel to once again hide behind the pilot's chair. Black's suit slowed their movements and they only managed to get to a standing position after the goose had safely hidden. She heard them grumble under their breath upon spotting the wiring panel.

Black stomped over gracelessly to the panel. The goose surged onto their seat, wings flapping. She was so close! This was working!. The pink inflatable bird still sat merrily atop Black's helmet even as they leaned over the panel. It would make a comfortable seat later tonight in the goose's nest.

She ducked her head down to remain as low as possible. Her view of the panel was blocked by the seat's back but she could still hear Black as they worked. It didn't take more than a minute for them to repair the damage and slam the panel shut once again. Their footsteps on the ground got closer and closer until the goose couldn't wait any longer.

Throwing her head back up again, the goose let out a cheerful _honk_. Black started yet again at the sound and the sight of the goose's appearance. She leaned forward to cover the last few inches and clamped her beak onto the flamingo's. It only took a slight tug to remove it from Black's helmet.

The crewmate let out another harried noise. The goose turned on the chair and hopped down. Black's scrabbling fingers swiped at empty air as the goose scurried first underneath the set of consoles at the nose of the cockpit. Black continued to utter their displeasure as they threw themself over the seat of the pilot's chair. The goose moved to the next console. She had to pause to maneuver the flamingo's soft plastic body from getting caught on any sharp edges.

Black was right behind her with his frantic arm movements. The goose honked again, this time muffled against the pink vinyl in her beak. Black still flinched at the sound which served the goose well. She waddled underneath the spare chair before reaching the hallway. Her feet padded quickly down the corridor until she reached the grate that led to her stash. Letting go of the flamingo was nerve wracking but Black was still in the cockpit yet. Flipping the grate open took another twitch of the goose's bill and then she and her prize were gone.

This was the first time that the crew of the Skeld would manage to spot their stowaway. It wouldn't be the last.


	3. CHAPTER 2

The goose wasn't done yet. Not by a long shot. When she settled into her nest in the ventilation shaft overnight she could still feel the cold metal under her feathers. And there wasn't enough color still in the plain silver box. The pink flamingo was a good start, but that was all it was. A start. There was so much more that the goose hoped for on this strange little ship.

The only issue was that the bulk of anything mobile and interesting was in fact on the helmets of the crew. And the crew, of course, were almost never without their suits. There were some moments where they might have the helmets off while they were in the privacy of crew quarters. The goose had not dared to enter those areas, not yet. There was one area however where they regularly did take off their colorful headwear: the cafeteria.

Eating through the tiny gap formed when flipping open the eyepiece was tedious. The more paranoid of the crew managed it - like White - but the rest of them would take off their helmets instead. This was the site of the goose's next strike, she decided.

Now that she had been on the ship for long enough, the goose knew the rough schedule that the crew followed more or less. After she had tailed Black for long enough she had pieced together the meal times. This allowed the goose to scrounge up the scraps of their meals so that she didn't have to try and break into the storage crates down in the belly of the ship. This also allowed the goose to put herself underneath the table that Red preferred to sit at.

She situated herself there in the early morning - such as it was in deep space - just prior to the approaching footfalls of the crew. Not everyone woke so early or bothered to eat. This would be when there would be the fewest complications.

Of course this was all just guesswork and chance, ultimately, but the goose was fine with that. She had her eye on the prize. She shuffled her wings merrily when she spied Red's tell-tale boots through the legs of the table and benches.

Before she had selected Red and this table as her best bet for success, the goose had taken a lap around the wide octagonal room. There was a bay of windows showing their progress through space and of course the trio of halls that sprouted from the room. Central to the room was a big red button that sat under a plastic cover. The goose had learned early on to avoid it, regardless of its tempting bright colors. It would summon the entire crew within moments and that was the _opposite_ of what she wanted.

One stretch of wall had another of the wiring panels which would have served as a suitable distraction had Red's table been closer. But the man preferred the opposite table and the goose instead focused on the other array of levers, buttons, and panels that were closer. There was definitely something there which would serve her purpose.

Her single lap hadn't been enough time to form a complete plan as she had with Black, not with the impending breakfast rush, so the goose now looked out from under the table with a more discerning eye. She did not understand the intricacies of how the ship worked. That didn't matter to her. Her attention caught on a large, heavy lever next to a wide chute. The chute was narrower than the vents, and she had seen the crew insert random refuse into it. At some interval someone would tug on the lever to send all the garbage away.

The goose poked her head out to peer at the chute. It looked empty now. She quickly returned to the safety of under the table as a crewmate approached. They stopped to converse with Red. It would be a good distraction. The goose darted behind the new arrival - Pink, already dressed in his dark suit and fedora atop the bulky space suit - and made her way to the table with the morning's food spread across it.

There was a strong temptation to simply make off with one of the platters of fruit now and ignore her original goal to relieve Red of his captain's hat. The goose hopped onto one of the benches and deftly picked up an apple before dropping it under the table's edge. The rest of the fruits would be sweet delights but they would take too long to roll to the goose's hideout from here. She would trust that the single apple would be overlooked underneath the bench for her to retrieve later.

Next, the goose leaned over to the tray of doughnuts. She could fit two or three of these over her beak. A few prods set up a full trio on the end of her orange bill. Finally she hopped down from the bench and waddled back to Red's table. He and Pink hadn't seen anything yet and were still talking to one another. The goose made her way behind Pink to the open trash chute.

Her first attempt to toss the doughnuts from her beak into the chute didn't work, sending the pastries onto the ground instead. She once again speared the doughnuts and pushed close to the wall before stretching her neck up, up, up. This time when she flicked her head, the doughnuts didn't have to go so high and arced neatly into the open chute. They landed with soft plops, not quite loud enough to attract attention.

The goose looked once again at Red and Pink. They were still locked in conversation. Worst of all, Pink had distracted Red from taking off his helmet yet. The goose's strategy required Red to have at least started his meal by now. She rustled her wings angrily and considered, briefly, nipping at Pink's feet to coax him to leave. But no, that would only make the whole cafeteria alerted to the goose's presence.

She retreated to the food table again. There had to be something that she could do to get Pink to leave Red alone. Besides the fruits - delicious, distracting only to the goose - and the remaining pastries - needed in case the first round of trashed doughnuts didn't send Red to the other end of the chute to rescue them - there were some clean trays and cups. The trays were too bulky to take more than one at a time in the goose's beak. Instead, the goose grabbed a stack of the cups and scattered them across the floor with a mighty toss. They landed and bounced with a satisfying clatter.

 _That_ caught Pink's attention and he broke off his chatter with Red finally. The goose had already ducked beneath the bench, out of sight. She relished in the joy of a successful distraction as Pink had to now get on his hands and knees to retrieve the scattered cups. Red shook his head and ignored the spill, choosing instead to sit and finally focus on the food on his tray.

The goose heard the pneumatic hiss that came from Red relieving the pressure on his helmet. Then came the heavy clunk of it being placed onto the table's surface. From her hiding spot the goose watched Red pat his hat back into place on the helmet's top before picking up his knife and fork.

 _Now_ was the time to honk, just as Red took his first bite of jammy toast. The captain jolted before he twisted to find the source of the noise. The goose let out another honk just for fun and skittered out the opposite end of the table, away from Red. Pink was still on his hands and knees chasing down cups. The goose had to act fast. Much like when Black was chasing her in Navigation, the goose had limited time for mistakes. She waited until Red had started to circle the food table before she circled back to Red's own.

As much as she wanted to jump up and snag the captain's hat now, that wouldn't work. By the time the goose dragged it down under the table, Red would have caught her. This was where the planted doughnuts came into play. She ignored her prize and waddled to the trash chute. She had to reach up once again and jump to get her beak around the thick, padded handle, but on the second hop she managed it. Her body weight brought it down with her and the trash chute opened with a mighty _whoosh_.

Startled cries erupted from both crewmen in the cafeteria. Pink tried to stand up and slammed his helmet on the table above him while Red started to run in one direction then towards the goose then back away again. He seemed to settle on going after the trashed doughnuts as the goose had hoped, scurrying into the southern hall with vehement grumbling.

Pink was very nearly done gathering the cups. The goose snatched the last one that had rolled under Red's table and took off with it, honking all the way. The crewmate followed behind, now thoroughly annoyed. The goose gave another little toss of the cup rather than allow herself to be picked up by Pink. She flapped her wings for good measure, too, just to get it to roll out of Pink's fingertips one more time.

Then she scurried to the table with last night's remaining dinner that had been left behind. She had of course already relieved the box of the leftovers but the white and red cardboard remained. Pink waved a hand at the goose to half-heartedly shoo her before returning to restack the cups with their fellows. He didn't notice as the goose used his turned back to pick up the pizza box and drag it to Red's table.

She only had moments to shuffle the objects around before hopping back down to the ground with her prize. Red would be returning any minute now, and she had to make it to the metal grate covering that was next to Pink and the food table. Pink puttered a moment by the food, tidying the array back into order from what the goose had done. He didn't seem to notice the missing apple however - another win, assuming the goose would be able to retrieve it later.

Pink stepped away from the food table with a tray of his own. He paused before grabbing a seat elsewhere in the cafeteria, his helmet pointing down the southern hallway where Red now emerged from. The goose shuffled and crouched as low as she could with her prize. It wouldn't do to get caught now.

Pink and Red exchanged words once more though in sharper tones as Red stomped back to his seat. He dropped onto the bench and the goose let out a breath when she heard the tell-tale clatter of silverware again. She waited until Pink sat at his own seat away from the captain. Then she carefully padded out into the dangerous stretch of distance between the table and the vent that would lead to her nest.

A few steps more and another flick of her beak allowed her to drop the white hat into the vent. The golden wings glinted softly in the metal box. The goose turned to look at Red at his table. The pizza box was a little crooked but it was firmly squished into place on his helmet. Best of all, the man hadn't even realized the replacement had even happened.

With a little hop, the goose followed her prize into the vent.


	4. CHAPTER 3

After the event in the cafeteria the goose's stockpile had another splash of glitz from the wings on the captain's hat. On the crewmate's side of things, there was a new piece of decor as well - once Red had realized his hat had been replaced he took the pizza box and added some angry scribblings to it. The revised cardboard now had what was presumed to be a rendering of the goose along with an angry red strikeout around it.

This wouldn't stop the goose of course. Why would it? A mere sign could be moved from its position next to the Big Red Button to a new, unceremonious location next to the flashing terminal in the medical room. The goose let go of the sign and took in her surroundings with an inquisitive eye. This wasn't far from the sign's original location, but it would do. And it was the furthest the goose had gone in recent days into the belly of the ship.

The med bay was in the leftmost corridor from the cafeteria. The goose had made her way through it at one point when she had first examined the ship. The vents connected to here were much shorter and there was an obnoxious hum in the air as a result of both the beeping machinery and the engines in the rooms further along the corridor.

Still, the goose wanted to further explore the ship rather than spend her days solely in Black's company by the cockpit. Medbay had multiple plush beds as well. Beds which were not typically occupied and had lovely, unmonitored pillows. The goose grabbed the closest pillow and waddled her way back to the cafeteria to stash it into the vent there. One would have thought perhaps that the vents would all be connected through full sized portions rather than the stretches that were no wider than the goose's own egg she had hatched from. Alas, she could not slip to and from each section of the ship without leaving the metal tunnels.

Two pillows were deposited down the cafeteria vent before the goose turned her attention to the rest of the med bay. There were two more pillows she might come back for, yes, but she didn't care to lose sight of her goals of _interesting_ finds. Pillows were functional. The strange green glowing platform in the back of the room was _interesting_.

The goose padded over to the platform. Her head tipped sideways as she watched the light dim slowly before coming back to life in full force. There was no indication of what it was - at least not one that a goose might be able to comprehend. She didn't bother with the little scribblings that the crewmates made on their tablets or the panels. Levers, buttons, wires - those the goose somewhat understood as being connected to things that did other things. Tiny markings? What use were those?

She stepped onto the panel. Immediately a new green light blossomed to life. A web of the bright color sprang up in the same pattern as the panel below her and swept up and over the goose. She stumbled into the center of the platform and let out an angry honk. The lights didn't care. They continued to sweep up and over the goose. After another tense moment, the goose realized they weren't actually doing anything to her save for being quite bright in her eyes. She ruffled her wings and honked once more indignantly.

The lights obliged and finally stopped. Something flashed on the screen in front of the goose that looked like more of those meaningless markings. The goose didn't bother to crane her neck to try and see. She turned and padded off of the platform to find something else more interesting and potentially mobile. Behind her, an obnoxious noise began to wail.

Something was wrong. The goose walked back onto the platform and honked in response at the angry noise. Nothing happened. Or rather, nothing beyond the alarm continuing to blare louder than the goose's protests. Voices started to make themselves known in the hallway, and the goose quickly removed herself from the mysterious platform once again.

She only just managed to duck under the closest bed when _three_ pairs of boots thundered into the med bay. The crewmates went immediately to the screen that had been flashing. The trio clustered around it, each insisting over one another and jabbing at the controls. The goose pulled the blanket from the mattress above her head to more thoroughly cover herself from view.

The alarm was silenced mercifully after another minute of their squabbling. The goose didn't know exactly what the crew was saying to one another - she didn't much care for the crewmate's languages - but the tension in the room was palpable. All had the same hostile attitude even though clearly none of them was the source of the noise. There was no point accusing one another when it had been the goose's actions to cause it. But they didn't know that, so angry they remained. There was a lot of gesturing to the platform and Cyan even stood on it with his arms crossed furiously over his chest. The lights sprang to life again and floated over his figure just as they had done for the goose. At some point the screen flashed once more.

Cyan pointed sternly at the indecipherable results and gestured at the panel. The goose saw Green's helmet shake back and forth. Cyan shoved Green at this point and had to be held back by Red who looked just a bit less in-charge without his captain's hat.

When Green smacked Red in response, the goose took that as her cue to leave. Violence was where she drew the line on involvement. She took a mental note however that strange glowing panels were _not_ places for geese to go even if the crew did.

Out in the hallway, the goose first moved towards safety and familiarity of the cafeteria. She stopped in the doorway however when she spotted Blue seated in one of the benches with her miniature companion next to her. Regardless of where Blue went, she was always accompanied by the tiny suited creature. Where the crewmates could be predictable with following their strict schedules, the miniature one was anything but. The goose turned on her webbed foot and hustled down the hall.

The noise of the engines thrummed in the air in the back portion of the ship. The goose entered the first compartment with one of the mighty contraptions and kept herself to the edge. The deck plating here shook with the force of the vibrations and it was more than enough to set the goose's feet to a quicker pace.

She did not remain in the upper engine compartment. There was another hallway here that she had been to maybe once or twice. It met and broke off in four directions. The room that the goose selected was one that she thought perhaps would turn into another hall and lead her back into the front section of the ship.

An array of screens filled the upper section of the room and directly opposite the door was a large wooden desk. The goose waddled to the desk and grew frustrated upon noticing there was no subsequent hallway behind it. She considered returning to the vibrating hallway and decided against it. This room was still new and interesting. The wall of screens was fascinating even if many of them still had those pointless markings on them. There were others that had pictures of the crew on them which caught the goose's attention.

Hopping up on the chair, the goose lifted her neck to regard the screens. These weren't actually pictures. The tiny images of crewmates were moving. She could see a miniature Red still arguing with Green in what appeared to be a hallway not unlike the one the goose had herself left. On another of the screens there was a miniature Cyan tottering his way through another hall into the section of the ship the goose had first snuck in through.

The goose let out a jovial honk. Now _this_ was interesting. And there were no obnoxious alarms this time! She recognized each of the crewmates when they crossed through the screens with their funny little outfits and colors. While Red had stubbornly not replaced his captain's hat yet, Black was now wearing a yellow sign that the goose had originally seen in the corner of Storage. How they managed to get it to stand up was a feat in and of itself. The goose pecked at the screen, forgetting for a moment that the hat wasn't actually there.

She wanted that one, too. It wouldn't be comfortable like the flamingo, no, but it would be hilarious to snatch from Black's head once again.

Another figure crossed into the goose's screens. This time it was Purple, one of the two crewmates who did not wear _anything_ on top of her suit. The goose realized she could hear footsteps now even over the hum of the engines. Purple turned on screen and the goose took a violent jump from the chair over to the desk.

Running and hiding served her well, though these close calls were not appreciated. Purple turned on her headlamp and called out as soon as she entered the office. The goose squished herself as deep under the desk as she could, even going so far as to wrap her neck over her wing to remain small to Purple's sweeping light.

The crewmate didn't crouch down however which was a welcomed relief. She clicked off the headlamp and grumbled something under her breath. Then she stepped to the screens that the goose had vacated, brushing off some scattered down feathers that the goose had dropped when she had flapped her way off of the surface. Purple grumbled again but otherwise dropped into the seat without further investigation.

The goose slunk out from underneath the desk, each step slow and methodical. Purple leaned back in the chair and crossed her feet on the surface in front of her. She hadn't considered that the goose was still here. Well, that spurred a bit of a challenge to the goose. Exactly what could she do without her fully reacting?

The goose considered the materials available to her at the current moment. She didn't care to venture into the dangerous, loud engine rooms. But here in the security area there was an entire desk of things at hand. She craned her neck to check out the contents there and allowed the possibilities to percolate.

She might not understand the scribbled markings that the crewmates used, but she did recognize the bright yellow flags that were stacked in piles on the desk. The notes were everywhere on the ship - next to panels, on containers of food that the goose raided, on panels that the goose had previously messed with. They would look nice on Purple's suit, too.

The matter at hand to first retrieve the sticky notes was gosling's play. The green chair that the goose hopped onto tried to spin her back away from the desk but another hop brought her onto the desk's surface which was firmly stationary. From there she picked up the first stack of yellow notes. A toss of her head sent the stack sliding on the ground over to Purple.

She paused here to observe the crewmate. Purple was still exactly where she had stopped - her feet up and her arms crossed over her chest. There was a slow rise and fall of the suit which the goose recognized as deep rest. Even better.

The goose picked up another stack of notes for good measure and brought it with her as she hopped off of the desk to the ground once more. Here she paused and cast her eye for her next point of concern. Nearly every room on the ship had one of the vent covers. Would this one be any different?

Deep in the bottom corner of the room she found her quarry. Now the goose had an escape path if she didn't trust the main halls.

Feeling much more confident - though that was not typically a problem for the goose - she joined Purple by the bank of screens. She didn't flinch when she waddled over. In fact from this perspective the goose could faintly see woman's face through the tinted glass of the helmet. It appeared as though her eyes were closed completely.

The goose put down her spare sticky notes and now realized that she was confronted with another challenge. How did the crewmates manage to pick up just one of the slips of paper? The goose picked up and dropped the pad several times. Each time the top note got a little more ruffled but it still remained stuck to the rest of the set. The goose nudged it against the rolling wheels of Purple's chair and tried to grab the rumpled one alone. Several pieces of paper came away in a zig-zag-like chain before pulling off from the main stack.

Stamping her feet allowed her to pull half of the chain away from the ones stuck to the top piece, but there was still more than one sticky note left in the goose's grasp. She dropped it once more in frustration.

It would have to do, she supposed. No matter how many times she repeated the grab-and-pull maneuver there remained multiple of the notes stuck to one another. The goose shook her head to dislodge as many as possible before turning to consider the crewmate next to her. She refused to walk away without having added to Purple's suit at all, even if it wasn't quite as carefully applied as she had thought.

The first yellow stream of notes went onto Purple's hip as that was nice and close to the goose. She only had to lift her neck a little to press the stack onto Purple's suit. When she let go and stepped back, euphoria hit. The little chain of notes folded down from the top note like a cascade of paper. The goose could then grab the bottom-most note from the chain and pull it off.

 _Now_ she had the power of individual sticky notes. It required a little more finagling to get another stream of sticky notes to run off of Purple's leg but then the goose had two to work from. She grabbed note after note and placed them all along the side of Purple's suit where she could reach. Both legs and the tops of her arms were the first to get covered. The goose took another moment to create another length of sticky note chain before taking a running leap up onto the ledge that Purple had her feet resting on.

The next set of notes went onto the fronts of Purple's legs and the toes of her boots. At one point her arms dropped from their crossed position as the woman shifted on the chair. The goose froze on her perch, the final sticky note still clutched in her bill. Purple didn't even open her eyes however. She merely twisted in the chair to curl up more comfortably.

It had been too close of a call. The goose eyed how Purple's breathing eased back out and her chest returned to a familiar rise and fall. But it would only be a matter of time before the woman would wake up. She couldn't sleep the whole afternoon away. Another alarm could go off or someone would walk in to find her. The goose shifted away from her body and prepared to throw herself back to the ground.

The hard-won final sticky note in her bill gave her pause. It was the last one. And it was the most pristine one she had managed, too. Many of the others were rumpled or wet from repeated handling. This one had come from the chain in an almost effortless attempt. It would be such a shame to waste it.

The goose did not understand the concept of hubris. The goose did understand the concept of showmanship however and she very much wanted to prove a point to herself. Purple had ignored the very obvious signs that the goose was here. She had to show her not to make that mistake again.

Very slowly and with deliberate movements, the goose took her first step onto Purple's legs. They weren't crossed after her last shift. She could wind her way along her path of previous sticky notes until she was standing on her lap. That was all the distance she needed to be able to crane her neck and place the final sticky note on the face of the woman's helmet. She could see her face much more clearly now and recognized the grimace that was splayed on her lips. Before her next twitch, the goose had already hopped down and scurried back to the desk once more.

There were footsteps coming now and she heard familiar voices. Blue and her miniature companion poked their heads into the security office and spied Purple. Blue said something to her little one. They both giggled and Blue picked up her companion to settle them on her shoulders. She approached Purple cautiously just as the goose had done. Then she passed a marker from one of her pockets up to the smaller one. She held onto the little one's legs and leaned over so that the small one could scribble three of those markings onto the note.

This was as much as the goose needed to see. The crewmates were giving a perfect cover for her actions and completely without any provocation needed on her part. How wonderful to have Blue's companion blamed for what the goose had done!

It almost made the goose feel bad for the next plot that occurred to her.


	5. CHAPTER 4

Having now increased her range of the ship to include the rear end, the goose felt comfortable to roam most of the ship fully and with relatively little concern. More signs cropped up with one in the security office being adorned with Purple's abandoned sticky notes and another just outside of the cockpit that had clearly been penned by Black. The goose paid them no mind. She kept her sights on the duo who had caught her attention the day prior.

Blue and Little Blue as the goose was now considering the miniature version of the crewmate made their way through the ship without the same rigid schedule or assignments of Black or Red. One hour they might remain in the humming engine rooms without budging. Another might see them ricocheting between rooms with hardly a moment's hesitation in any of them.

The goose would not be deterred.

A definite hotspot of Blue's attention was the wire-clad room stuffed full of lockers and panels of apparent great interest to the crew. When the lights dimmed or doors became jammed the crew would flock to the room to fiddle with the massive array of equipment there. Once enough heads came together the issue would be resolved and they would once more part ways.

Even outside of those moments of chaos however the goose felt that Blue and her charge would more often than not end up in this particular compartment. She settled among the metal boxes, nestling down in a pile of unspooled wire that had become dislodged from one of the storage racks. The room was difficult to see in - a perfect setup for a crafty goose.

Much like her other tasks on the ship, the goose had to wait for Blue to show up once more with Little Blue. Thankfully the crewmate made this easy. She was always talking and cooing to Little Blue no matter what they were doing. The other crewmates spoke with one another, yes, but not with the gentle air that Blue did with her charge. The goose stayed nestled in her wires as she heard - and saw - Green stumble in to punch a few buttons. A little while later White came in and stared at a panel without doing much else before retreating out the door as well.

Then the goose heard Blue's voice coming from the hall. She pulled herself back to her feet, stretching a bit after the long sit. Blue's footfalls were accompanied by a second, lighter pair. That was good. Sometimes the crewmate would carry Little Blue along on her helmet or in the crook of her arm. But here in the dangerous nest of wires and blinking lights Blue would have to keep Little Blue away from all that.

This ploy would take speed, care, and more than a little bit of luck. Little Blue was the crewmate's gosling. She might call out for her mother as soon as the goose plucked her away from Blue.

But oh how it would be fun to get Blue to flap and flail!

The goose shuffled to the edge of the line of lockers she was hidden behind and craned her head to see around the corner. Blue was pointing to the blank wall which had no panels or wires stretched across it. Little Blue was ignoring her, babbling and waving her hands at the blinking lights and switches around them. Blue let out a huff and gently picked up the small creature by the helmet.

That made Little Blue let out a shriek which caused the goose to recoil until she realized the noise turned into a series of giggles. Blue had another hand underneath Little Blue's tiny boots in case her grip slipped as she rocked the small crewmate back and forth. It was a game of sorts between them. Then she placed Little Blue finally on the ground again and crossed the gosling's feet on top of one another. More pointing and chatter was exchanged and finally Blue stepped away from Little Blue. This was apparently satisfactory for her as Little Blue merely rocked on her behind rather than stand up or totter off.

Blue turned to begin her task. The goose watched carefully for a long minute to try and guess how long this would take. She didn't want to rush out now if Blue was going to be finished in another handful of seconds. The crewmate's slow and methodical approach to whatever she was doing told another story. And the insistence that Little Blue remain still hinted that this would not be a quick task.

The goose took a tentative step out from behind the lockers. Immediately Little Blue's attention was drawn to the noise. Her helmet pointed at the goose and she let out an inquisitive coo. The goose paused and waited for the tears. None came. Another careful step merely coaxed Little Blue to tip her head to one side. She reached out a tiny suited hand in the direction of the goose.

While Little Blue babbled quietly to herself, the goose considered again the much larger Blue to her side. Her steps out towards Little Blue were putting her directly in the crewmate's line of sight if only she were to turn her head back to her gosling. By now the goose was more than halfway across the open floor to Little Blue. This was the move regardless of whether or not it would be successful. It would be foolish to turn back now.

The goose reached her target. She kept her head low and her wings tucked into her sides. Scaring the gosling would not be smart. A new thought came to her as Little Blue continued to reach out with her hands. She let one pap against the top of her beak, drawing away only when her fingers moved to pry at it instead.

The goose lifted her head once more to proper height. Wonder shone through the tinted visor of the helmet. Her babbling had more or less quieted in exchange for more curious flaps of her arms. The goose twisted until her beak could grab the creases on the back of her suit. Then she picked up Little Blue.

Immediately she let out a cry, but the goose was ready for this. She hefted Little Blue - she was heavier than _any_ gosling of the geese that the goose had carried before - and managed to sway the creature back and forth just like its mother. Immediately the noises turned again to cheerful giggling.

When she tried to stop the rocking however Little Blue did _not_ care for that. The goose took a step out towards the hallway. She quickly had to stop and return to the rocking as Little Blue started to flail her tiny arms and legs. The goose paused to readjust her grip on the suit and rock her back and forth again. This calmed her but left the goose in a rather precarious position.

Blue was wrapping up her materials and speaking - presumably - to her offspring once more. As soon as she was to turn around, she would spot the goose and come after her. This would not do.

The goose swung Little Blue once more with greater vigor and twisted to drop the creature onto her back. The thump of her weight on the goose's back was slightly unpleasant but bearable. What was worst was the two now vice-like arms which grasped the goose's neck. Without thinking, the goose honked.

Blue turned. Her helmet cast down to find her gosling and instead found the goose staring back up at her instead.

The goose stared back.

Little Blue let out a raucous giggle, breaking the silence that had fallen when her mother heard the goose. The goose shuffled her wings to better remove her foot from her shoulders before launching forward recklessly. It was now or never.

The small creature on her back clung for dear life as the goose bolted for the hallway. Not daring to slow down enough to look behind her, the goose relied solely on the sound of Blue's now frantic bootsteps chasing her to discern how much trouble she was in.

Oh yes, this _was_ fun.

There was shouting. There was gleeful shrieking from the gosling that was practically strangling her neck. And there was a vent just twenty more meters ahead once the goose finished rounding the corners into the lower engines. She blasted past a rather baffled looking Purple, letting out a joyous honk of her own. There was a rather violent sound of flesh-and-suit on one another as Blue smacked into her fellow crewmate. The goose continued on with her breakneck racing.

Skittering and hopping over the large conduit that dared to separate the goose from her escape point, the goose started to shuffle her wings once more. Little Blue on her back clung even tighter. The goose tumbled into the grate she needed to flip up and hopped to keep from slamming completely into the wall in front of her.

Now was the time for Little Blue to let go. The goose opened her wings fully and flapped. Still the gosling refused to leave, choosing instead to shriek loudly once more. It took a violent shake of her neck and the arrival of Blue in the engine room doorway for the creature to _finally_ release her death grip and slip onto the ground.

Without stopping to watch the aftermath, the goose nosed open the vent and ducked inside. The cover rattled loudly behind her. Without waiting to test if Blue would realize where she had gone to, the goose made off down the skinny, metal shaft. The thrum of the engines was strongest here, and the vibrations made it very difficult to hear.

She paused midway through the vent. The opposite end would pop her out in the funny smelling room at the very rear of the ship. The goose chanced to look back behind her. There was no evidence of being pursued. No reaching blue arms or even a flashlight plunged into the vents behind her. The goose shuffled her feet merrily.

A sound caught her attention behind her, above even the metallic vibrations and the engines. She turned towards the source and quickly backpedaled. Approaching her was a white figure. No, not a white figure - White themself. Their hands and arms bent at strange angles as they pulled themselves through the metal shaft that seemed like it should have been far too small for any crewmate. That was why the goose trusted these spaces to hide away from them.

White's motions stilled and their helmet scraped against the top of the vent as they seemed to notice the goose in front of them. Each regarded one another. White's helmet scratched again on the metal as they tipped it inquisitively.

Indignant, the goose drew herself to as tall as she could manage in the restricted space. This was a crewmate-free zone! For good measure she flapped her wings and honked furiously at White.

They continued to watch her, apparently unphased. A long minute passed as both stared without budging. The goose gave several more hearty wing flaps. Finally White's helmet turned away. Contorting themself in what were surely impossible motions, White twisted to face the reactor compartment once more. In another scrabbling motions the crewmate vacated the vents all the while the goose trailed behind, nipping at White's boots in case they tried to change their mind.

Finally it was just the goose left alone again in the vents. She heard the sharp snap of the grate falling to place above her. The goose peered through the slats and watched as White ducked to the opposite side and into a second vent system.

The goose would have had plenty to ponder just from that alone. Since when did the crew wander through _her_ vents? Was her stockpile in danger of being plundered? The goose would have to wait to consider those thoughts as her eye caught sight of a familiar bright suit in the reactor room.

What was Cyan doing, lying there on the ground? The goose cocked her head as she studied him. She didn't remember there being any tasks to do actually on the ground and certainly not one that would be in the middle of the floor. The goose chanced hopping out of the vent when, after another long pause, Cyan remained exactly where he was. Perhaps something was wrong. It was difficult to see if the crewmates weren't well through their heavy suits. The goose waddled over and peered through the tinted visor to try and discern if Cyan was even awake.

She hopped back when she spotted the blood that was sprayed on the inside of his helmet. There was no need for further study; Cyan was definitely _not_ okay.

The goose looked now to the vent that White had slipped through on the other side of the room. They would have had to walk right by Cyan's body to get there. In fact, White probably saw the body even before they went into the goose's vent and confronted her. A realization occurred to her, one that was much more important than her own stash of lifted objects.

White had done this. That was why they had tried to escape through the vents. White wasn't a crewmate. They were something _other_. Something only pretending to be like the rest of the crew.

The goose looked down at Cyan, a new feeling sinking in her chest. None of the brightly colored crewmates deserved this. By now certainly White had slunk off to some other part of the ship. It was easy to do, easier still if you were big and tall like the crew. No one would know what had happened to Cyan. No one except the goose.

Well, that couldn't be too difficult to fix, could it?


	6. CHAPTER 5

Much like her other ventures in the past slew of days, the goose knew that she had to have a plan. This one task would be no different. The first step would be to find White when they were alone. The goose knew that confronting White wouldn't do much - what use would her beak or her stash of pillows do against the strange thing that was White?

No, instead the goose had to think much more carefully. She knew from the other crewmates how easy it was to coax them into a chase or to seek some other distraction. They were single minded in that regard, not able to see the bigger picture. That was how the goose managed to - yet again - separate Black from his headwear. If she could trick the same crewmate twice into losing a hat on his own head, then the goose figured she could get one impostor to slip up and follow her into a trap.

The steps weren't as clear as usual. Once she found White it would take all the improvisation that she could manage. But it would be worth it to know that the crew - and her stash - were safe from further issue.

The crew had assembled briefly after someone eventually found Cyan in the reactor. There had been a lot of shouting that made its way even to the goose's own hideaway. Ultimately however nothing happened, at least not with White. Black and Purple got to blows with one another and had not been in the same room together since. Blue refused to leave crew quarters at all, something that seemed rather desperate. After all, White could still get in there once the rest of the crew was out doing their day to day work. But she had a gosling to protect and the goose understood the instinct to remain where she might feel safest.

All that meant was that there was one less crewmate, well two including Cyan, to find the goose in the halls. She slipped into Storage, selecting it as her ideal location to be able to funnel White where she needed them. It was one of very few rooms without any grates accessing the vents at all. And everyone had to go through it eventually regardless of where they were needed on the ship.

Storage also had stacks and stacks of crates. The goose didn't like to climb on them normally, but this was a notable exception. If she was caught, well, that was fine. White had already caught her once and hadn't cared to report it. So the goose hopped and flapped and finagled herself atop the center stack of crates until she was at just the right height.

White had been notable to the goose right away for how plain they were compared to the zany Skeld crew. Even the more reserved members had some element of uniqueness to their attire; Purple had apparently decided that the sticky note that Little Blue had scribbled on was now a critical piece of her everyday wear and left it stuck to the side of her helmet. But White had no such hat, no humorous accessory, not even a simple shirt or jumpsuit over their space suit. It seemed obvious now that White was Not Like the Others.

This also presented the goose with an opportunity. She had taken one key item from the reactor room prior to the crew's discovery of Cyan's body. It had remained safely stowed inside one of the pillows in her stash until she made this plan.

The fake plant stalk was clutched in her beak as she scrunched atop the storage crates. Cyan's own personal hat would be obvious evidence that White had been the one to cause his demise. It had to be.

Waiting was miserable. The goose tried to keep from getting excited every time that she heard footsteps approaching. Many crewmates diverted to communications or the administrative room rather than actually enter Storage. And of course she wasn't waiting for just any crewmate. It had to be White.

Counting how many times that Green crossed through the room helped break the monotony. At one point the goose nearly snatched his sports cap from his head just to make sure that she had gotten the height right, but the sight of White's obvious, plain helmet coming down the hall from the cafeteria brought the goose back to her priorities.

There would be time to retrieve more hats later, once White had been exposed. Green passed by unaware of both the goose above him and the killer about to enter the room. White stood in the doorway once they got to Storage, their helmet panning slowly as they considered some long thought. Apparently satisfied that there was no one else present, they started in the direction that Green had just left in.

The goose would not let this happen. She let out a raucous honk, loud enough to stop White in their tracks. The impostor again surveyed the room though they did not cast their glance upwards. The goose shuffled as close as she dared to the edge of the crate she was balanced on. White had stopped just inches away.

She craned her neck to cover the last stretch and let go of the green sprout. There was a magnet at the base which had held it firmly in place. It dropped into place on White's helmet with a soft _thunk_. Immediately the impostor turned their head up and reached to feel what had apparently hit them. Their focus latched on to the goose above them.

They let out an angry noise, one that was swiftly drowned out by another loud honk. A heavy arm swiped up at the goose. The silly hat was forgotten as the goose regrettably got exactly what she had asked for - White's undivided attention.

The first swipe hit her beak. She stumbled backwards to avoid the next which instead smacked harshly into the crate that the goose was perched on. Her footing dropped out on her and blind panic overtook the goose when White's fingers wrapped around one of her feet.

A panicked goose is a dangerous goose though, even against strange impostors who could force themselves through ventilation shafts. She smacked her wings against them over and over until they let go. When White started to shake the crate again to try and dislodge her, the goose hopped into the air. The change in weight was enough that when White pulled again on the crate it slid backwards into their chest. The goose dropped to the ground, turned tail, and ran through the hallway in front of her.

She honked and honked, trying now to do exactly what she had avoided for the past weeks - to get everyone's attention. Ahead of her the cafeteria loomed, miserably empty but for Cyan's helmet sat in silent memorial on the center table.

The goose continued to scrabble and run, tucking her wings back into order as she unsuccessfully wrangled her fear. White was just behind her and they would not be quite as forgiving as Blue or Red or even Purple. The goose honked again as she passed by the administrative room before exploding into the cafeteria. Voices and footsteps were starting to rumble from the depths of the ship, but none seemed close.

A solution or at least a wing and a prayer presented itself helpfully to the goose. She continued to careen forward all the way to the center table where Cyan's helmet sat. And right next to the helmet was the one thing that would _surely_ bring the entire crew to order.

She couldn't slow her momentum as she hopped up to the center table's benches, overshooting the distance and sliding gracelessly through the space between the bench and tabletop to once again hide underneath the surface. White thundered behind her and skittered to a stop. The goose paced in a tight circle beneath the table as she eyed White's boots through the benches. They were doing the same thing, their helmet ducking down to eye the goose with what was surely a menacing glare behind the heavy tint.

The button was so close but with White _right there_ as well, what were the goose's chances? White crouched down onto their hands and knees, pulling one of the benches completely away from the table. She didn't have any other choice.

The goose turned and ran from White's grasping fingertips. A few tailfeathers didn't follow, plucked painfully from her rear but it was better than the alternative. Another hop and shuffle had the goose finally atop the table. She used her carefully honed skills at grate-flipping to remove the clear plastic cap from atop the button. Then as she met White's gaze she stepped firmly on the red button with one triumphant foot.

For good measure, the goose honked along with the resulting emergency alarm. White sputtered and scrambled to try and stop the wailing with further slams on the button but to no avail. Already Red had emerged from the med bay and was rushing to the table with Pink slinking along behind him. Not long after, the remaining crew arrived in to take stock of the situation. 

The goose's presence was ignored as soon as the first crewmate spotted the incriminating hat affixed to White's head. At least, that was what the goose assumed. Once there were witnesses, White had bigger priorities than to chase after a silly waterfowl.

She had taken that opportunity to nudge Cyan's old helmet off of the table and over to her vent. By the time that she had rolled it through the grate, White was being shoved by Pink, Black, and Blue down the corridor again towards Storage. There was an air of justice in the ship. Soon everything would be back to how it had been before. The goose pulled the grate closed over her vent and nestled the bright blue helmet into the pile. One of the pillows helped keep it from rolling away as the goose settled inside the padded headwear.

She would sleep now. Tomorrow was sure to be another long day filled with more interesting things to do.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Rude](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28706046) by [GaleWrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaleWrites/pseuds/GaleWrites)




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